IDEA FOURTEEN: mashUP/mixUP s/w

"mashUP/mixUP s/w": A program that reads a dj's track choice, either from the mp3 file or from a barcode on vinyl that a sensor on the turntable reads and sends to a database on the computer of all the barcoded song material. To each of these tracks corresponds the links to several cool as fuck youtube videos of the track--everything from corporate video commercials to homemade genius to graphic design grad student journey's of courses taken...the dj can rate the selections and tag the ones he or she wants to use in a set.

...a ping could go back to the youtube link to give the user a credit or something...a bandwidth bar perhaps...

It would be hot--the s/w would run the visual tracks in a similar, overlapping (or split screen?) cut-and-paste style that is the essence of a dj mix. You could have different youtube links of the same track playing at the same time in different rooms, different versions of the track being projected on different walls.

It seems like an obvious one. I wonder if any clubs or performance spaces are already trying this?

I like the idea too, of promoting it as a home party tool...something for the kids out in the suburbs out in the middle of nowhere.

A program like this would be super artsy and populist at the same time--not unlike the design of the original, all white iPods.



speaking of apple and third party people, andy had an idea and posted it on his blog and now it's a part of iTunes version 7

that fucking kicks ass and it's exactly what i'd like to see come out of this site--one or two or more of these bad boy ideas getting freaky feely on some ferreal existence.

which is to say, i want shit to get MADE like oatmeal.

plus i want bill gates(aka "bonita a.") to put me on.

werrrrrd to the nerds

i hope u got paid, Andy

that was me rocking the google search, btw

xo

IDEA THIRTEEN: Happiness made easy

Be thankful for what you've got.

IDEA TWELVE: Viral Skule

...and they will know us by our trail of logos...

To truly THINK the time we're in, to analyze it and come to understandings about it, as one tries to come up with the best way to live their one and only life, one has to grasp the failure of the american dream in all its americanness. Like every great American story the story of America itself will end with the hero being down for the count and staging a comeback against all odds...crouching in the wilderness, keeping company with the nite. America is the rebel. America is also the evil villian, stabbed thru the heart and lying still and seemingly dead, before springing back to life under the camera's steady gaze.

America is about it's underground--a cast of thousands, growing, spreading on the innernet...we have to take the upheaval of our nation's promise and reach out to one another with our ideas. We have to share, we have to build.

People from all around the world have to come and rebuild America.

We don't need no stinkin bricks and mortar--we just need WEBSITES.

I want to build the monkeyskule, a viral brand of online education, controlled by the social networks that connect it to its students. "classes" in software applications, cars, finance, web dev, electronic music, rebellion. I want to teach the youth philosophy, languages, art and lit crit. Semiotics, psychoanalysis...training in new discourses is the way towards a united way of thinking about things, not to mention a common language.

We can do it thru wikipedia, maybe, which, btw, is being dumped by its creator and becoming purely for the people, by the people.

We can create and disseminate--while the gigantic corporations scramble to sell movies on the web we'll busy ourselves with MAKING OUR OWN SHIT. we can change the tide, we can teach the youth, but only if they come looking for us. monkeyskule will not be advertised on some flashing banner or chunky text ad. in order to work really well monkeyskule has to mimic democracy: the people will come to it on their own will and volition.

We will risk it all by giving them the same tools that form tyrants--they will have an understanding of human nature as well as an understanding of meaning, and it's maleability. Skilled in the art of dialogue and rhetoric, we will create a virutal underground army that exists only online.

We will fight this generation.

Dismantle them piece by piece using not metal hooks or chainsaws but our MINDS.

IDEA ELEVEN: Fake it so real

Dear Bill Gates,

C'mon, dood. Turn yr gaze east, to New York City. It's time to find me. I'm the vision you've seen in a flash of sky--a jagged blue gash, a joyous revelation, an upside down ravine between skyscrapers... I'm the bubbles in yr coffee and the sleep in yr eye. It's ok if you wanna come to me first as someone else. You can be a liar. You can be a fake. I know all about wearing masks. We'll meet in the purple and blue magic hour of the innernet's LCD halo glow, where nothing is what it seems, and everything is up for grabs. I'll play the part of the billionare CEO philanthropist and you can play the part of the genius lost in the woods.

We'll play tag...we'll play Mother May I with propositions...situations.

I'm the poet--I'm MC Virgil.

I understand sentences and semicolons. I turn a phrase and stab my sharpened heel.

Take my hand, Bill Gates.

Fill my bank account and I'll lead you to the wellspring of where things flow together, many streams from many rivers. There's no myth of a source here. I am what I am--a sampling and a put-on, an email address and an IQ. A joker and a toker.

I'm a flicker and a faker, a fast money taker...

Written words are bastards and deserve to be treated as such; half-orphans in the half-light, claimed by no one, used and copied and replaced and posted, over and over, on millions of blogs by millions of authors.

So many authors, so little time.

Soon we'll forget about names, and concentrate on the myths that we create.

The blog texts will weave across the world, sewing the land together like the aluminum lattice work of highway overpasses, anonymous and forgettable, yet at the same time necessary and useful.

These texts are a new kind of technology and they're also a new kind of art.

Im the chick you need to show you how to use it.

Please write me!

trueboyATgma ilDOTcom

xoxoxo

IDEA TEN: Filming Raymi at H&M

Raymitheminx (next level innernet star)+ H&M (next level disposable, faux haute, cheaply made, high end garments) + tiny celly cams and micro video digis hidden in jacket sleeves/cleavage/afro

=

Tubular! (next level “dotcommercials” created and posted on youtube without the consent of corporation in question)



I think that if Raymi made a series of these and got some buzz from the multitudes who make up her vast network, the powers that be at H&M would totally check it out and after ignoring her or even threatening legal action they would have no choice but to stick her on the payroll as sales shot through the roof.



Remember—you heard it here first:

“Tubular!”

(thx to genius hotty, the pants for titling a post “Tubular” and inspiring me to come up with this idea, though it is mostly unrelated to the content of said post)

IDEA NINE: Dark Chocolate Cigarettes

Let's face it: human beings have an insatiable craving to ravish with their mouths. Nearly every hour we're wrapping our lips at least once around something, be it the over-designed space age nozzle on an energy drink or a bright green starbucks straw or a stick of dentyne or a glass pipe or gummy candy or our very own fingers. Look what's happened now that Americans are quitting smoking--they're (we're) turning in to food sucking machines. Everywhere you go in this country (and by everywhere i mean even the furthest regions of TiVo nation) the images that confront u are about sexing the mouth. What would Budweiser be without it's bottle? The Big Mac held up to the face, obscuring the mouth as though it is a luvr being kissed... There is a Dunkin Donuts commercial out right now here in nyc that addresses the conflict between remaining fixated upon the attention sucking TV and going out to buy a glistening sausauge and egg sandwich: triumphant (yet, ironically so, in the vein of the Royal Tenenbaums or The Wonder Boys or some other clever, hokey shit that you can't help but find cool in a disarming, self-effacing, faux high brow manner) music plays as an instantly affable (skinny) everyday man with somethin of an afro(polyracial) breaks free from the trance of a "charming human interest story", as it is described by the narrator, and succeeds in leaving the house and obtaining the horribly un-nutritious snack that his body was not even in need of in terms of hunger or nourishment--what his body really wanted was to be mouth fucked, as it seems all of our bodies want, nearly constantly. There is a bit of a chicken and egg syndrome as to how the habit of cigarette smoking plays in to this--back in the day the native americans would only smoke it once in a while for occasions muy especial, but such restraint wasn't going to make anyone in England rich...which is why the whole concept of smoking every day really took off...which in turn is perhaps in part to blame for our society's overarching consumption issues. As a heavy smoker for over 10 years i know that it's mostly psychological but at the same time people are dropping dead cuz they can't stop like I did, one day, cold turkey. (try this if you want to quit it really helps)

We've got to invent a cigarette that really won't kill you but will give you some other kick.

Which is why I'm asking any scientists out there to please please please come up with a way to smoke dark chocolate for a slight buzz. The amount of chocolate in a pack would be about the amount of two bars of pure chocolate--but that's the kick--the cocoa would be non processed and bitter--producing a smokey roasted hershey puff that would be appealing to ferreal smokers in a way that cloves and flavored tabaccos are not.

The chocolate smokers wouldn't eat as much but they also wouldn't die of cancer.

A win-win.

Once we end the crisis then we can get on to answering the bigger question--why are we so in love with pleasing our mouths?






IF YOU BUILD IT THEY WILL MAKE IT: UPDATE ON IDEA SIX, DYKES ON A PLANE--TRAILER TO NON EXISTENT FARCE RELEASED AS VIRAL VIDEO YOUTUBE DIRRRTY SEXXX BOMB.

An innernet network exists like a flowering plant on the field of the larger world wide web...periodically shooting out spores into the larger www...

every thought in the mind is a planted seed...

Every thought in the mind is a potential new network of networks...

Shooting seeds of anime lust...

IDEA EIGHT: Infinite Bandwidth=Infinite blog

Hey you. Yes, YOU. Out there beyond the wall, feeling naked, feeling small, I want to get infinite with you. I wanna commune with you, love-in style but without any lame naivety or floral prints. I know. Let's start a blog crew and incorporate ourselves and simultanteously support (execute) projects while strategically hyping up (linking out to) shit that we agree gets us amped and that we want to promote. We can easily coordinate events and coordinate graffiti. We'll create a scene--not on a coast or in a city or a country but ONLINE ONLY. We'll send stickers and toys to one another. We'll share music, software, videos and bandwidth. These resources become icons on our desktop with which we can borrow and barter.

In time our innernet crew will have it's own icon, a symbol that cool hunters and genius CEOs can place on their desktop--a live link to our portal, our innernet.

Instead of nodes (individual sites), these tuff, blog crew run networks (innernets) will themselves be the online destinations of choice.





this is what blogger's next level templates will look like

IDEA SEVEN: Stop using the word "phone"

It's just so last century--it drives me nuts.

(edit: ok, it doesn't really drive me nuts...i just have a vested interest in words and how they're used)

I like the German word, "handy"..."mobile" is a little officious...the hip-hop "celly" isn't bad...

(edit: or is it "cellie?")